Those many years ago, I often think back to the moments we shared together. The very first moment I saw you, I knew you were my destiny. Nothing had ever captured my attention and made my heart skip a beat. My smile was ignited and your presence warmed my heart and soul. I fell in love with you at that very moment not knowing what the future held.
I had my doubts at first, Was I too young? Was I prepared? Could I really do this? Who will support us?
One late night, I cried my eyes because of all of the pressure that comes with you. You might have thought I was crazy then, but I had to ensure a secure the future. I thought about the things I would face with you.
The world has its way of competing for everything that is precious. And you were my most precious prize. My thoughts and actions were scrambled like eggs in my mind. I was overwhelmed, with many thoughts going through my mind. Ultimately everything came down to two choices: Either hold on to you or let you go. I made the decision to let you go. Indeed it was a hard decision to make. The older I get I realize my decision then was the best for the both of us. I do think about you from time to time. I can never get those precious moments back, I’ll always have you in my heart and in everything that I put my hands to do.
I’ve suppressed feelings far too long which resulted in grief, guilt, and shame. There have been times where I have been frustrated and so hard on myself. I can’t deny my grief anymore or internalize my feelings of loss, but rather openly express them. Once the moment of expressing my vulnerability passes, the real choice is to accept this reality and seek forgiveness.
As each day that passes by, I grow stronger and wiser. Though we are separated, always remember my love for you knows no boundaries and no distance can ever keep me from my destiny.
Loving you now and forever,